Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
