she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
ttyl tear gas
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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