Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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