I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
