even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
