you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
