Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
