so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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