I bet he comes in French.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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