cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize