I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
