Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
