Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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