I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
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Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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