she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
