Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.