Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.

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(206): View more from Washington

Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
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(909): View more from California

i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life

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(714): View more from California

The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.

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(248): View more from Michigan

We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.

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