Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.