Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
