areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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