Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
