Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
