thus making me awesome and them whores
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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