I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
