Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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