Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize