I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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