Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
