When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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