That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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