The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
