I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My feet surprised me
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