Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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