I hate all girls vehemently.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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