I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
