He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
