She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
