Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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