I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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