He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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