Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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