are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize