I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize