At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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