it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
