Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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