we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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