You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I need water and some morals
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
