Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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