Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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