every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
