You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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