I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
