I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
