for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
