Just fell off a train. Bad.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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