is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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