I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
