The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
